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Putting yourself out there

Putting yourself out there, engaging with others, and sharing ideas is something that doesn't come naturally to lots of people. This is definitely me! Making yourself vulnerable and pushing your comfort zone is something I continuously challenge myself to do and oh my goodness it's really hard. But with the hard part of it all there are some really rewarding parts to it too. I've always loved participating in drama, I know weird right, I find it difficult putting myself out there but enjoy acting. I think it's because when you act you are somebody else, a different persona and you don't have to be you. You're not you and being judged as you, you're being judged as the character you are portraying and I think that's why I love it. A few years ago I pushed myself to attend a drama group, this took a lot of courage as I had to put myself out there. As hard as it was I have some amazing memories of the performances we did and I also got to meet some lovely people, I may have never ordinarily have met.

Recently I have put myself out there and started my flower business. It's definitely difficult and I struggle with confidence of myself and my abilities every day. Each day I worry about what happens if people don't like my work or don't like me as a person etc etc. I don't unfortunately have the answers on how to deal with this, other than to keep going feel the fear and keep pushing yourself.

I recently ordered some leaflets and made the decision that I would deliver them round my village. I have a new respect for post deliver people as not only is it hard work, but I also found it a bit intimidating going into someone else's personal space and popping something through their letterbox. I was conscious of trying to respect people's space and followed any requests, such as notices saying no leaflets etc. I met many dogs who were very good at alerting their owners of my presence, lol, and I felt bad that I had then caused them to bark. I know I worry a lot!

The village I live in is beautiful and when I went round delivering the leaflets. I met some really lovely people! This made the push of putting myself out there so worth it. To have kind words, and strangers wishing you luck with your business is such a boost. If anyone who is reading this is one of those individuals then thank you. I actually had a few people thank me for the leaflet! It's nice to know there is plenty of kindness and empathy out there.

However, unfortunately there is the flip side, as always there are opposites- light and dark with shades in between. I delivered a leaflet and a man came out of their house and in an aggressive manner shouted me back, thrust the leaflet back in my hand saying 'we don't have these'. (There was no note on the door to say this). I'm rubbish at managing this sort of thing. I spent 5 years working for the police, you think I would have tough skin! However, I think it's all about context, when you don't expect people to behave in a certain way in a situation it definitely takes me back a bit, ok a lot! I apologised to him a lot, feeling awkward and uncomfortable and even thanked him when he thrust the leaflet back, lol. As soon as I turned the corner I burst out crying (It had been a challenging day, which certainly didn't help). I finished the last 4 houses and went back home blubbling. My husband was of course fuming. He's seen how hard I work at things and how it takes a lot to push myself to get out there and promote myself and my business.

So where's the learning from all this. I need to develop a thicker skin, yes this would definitely help, however i'm unfortunately me and stuck with me, lol. I care a lot about things and that probably makes me more sensitive. I like to think that on the plus side i'm an empathetic person and try to help people where I can. If people are aggressive or unkind just because they had a leaflet put through their door, I wonder what sort of life they have to trigger that sort of response, and actually it makes feel sorry for them!

On the plus side, there are some lovely people out there and I like to believe that these are in the majority. For one bad egg there are ten other good eggs- a very simplified version of life.

So if you get a leaflet through the door that you don't want please either do the following:

Pop a note on the door requesting no leaflets

Say to the person something like- Thank you for this, however we don't take leaflets and didn't want you to waste your printing costs by discarding it.

or simply put it in the recycling bin.

Kind words, empathy and compassion doesn't cost but is worth a chest full of treasure!

I know it's really hard, but keep putting yourself out there and feeling the fear as life is so short and you'll meet some great people and have some memorable experiences along the way!

Take care and thanks for reading!

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2 則留言

I’ve finally looked at your blogs- as a fellow doubter & sensitive soul- i feel your pain but I loved ‘putting yourself out there’

full of admiration- keep doing what your doing🌻

Camilla Mills
Camilla Mills

Thank you so much! Likewise your birds are beautiful! Xx

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